That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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