I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
