The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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