Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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