I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
