Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
