you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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