ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize