"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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