We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize