The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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