thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
