No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
