So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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