arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
