Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
