my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
