Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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