Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
