So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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