We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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