its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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