I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
