we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
