you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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