if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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