dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Drunk walkin through police station. America
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
