I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
