After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I want her autograph on my taint
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize