I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
