C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
