Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
