he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
