Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
