So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize