so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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