youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
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