i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
