Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
