I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
