So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
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