he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
