Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
