If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
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