you traded sex for a burrito?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
All I want is dick and wine.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
