You're a womanizer and a bitch.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize