dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
