I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
