S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
