I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
