Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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