Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
