Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
