you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
