I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
