just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
