Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
