forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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