Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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